he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
