she looked like the before picture.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
