i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
