she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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