just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
