The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
tell me about the fingering
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