Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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