quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
