This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
