You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
