Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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