spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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