Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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