So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
