My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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