OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
