If i come over, it means nothing
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
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