do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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