I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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