I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
