i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
