the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
