I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
