thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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