Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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