If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize