my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
whose ass print is on the piano?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
