belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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