you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
