I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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