FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
