You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
