WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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