I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
