Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
