I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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