He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
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