PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
