Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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