I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
