And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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