so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
