I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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