you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
