so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
