i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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