forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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