Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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