I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
