census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
