im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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