whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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