I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
