Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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