I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
