If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
