think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
