Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i think my tv is drunk
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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