Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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