it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize