It's Friday. Sex?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
