YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
