Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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