Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
