Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
