Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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