Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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