why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
