thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
