i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
