just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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