is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
